Robert De Niro asks, "What the f--k am I doing here?" while Caitlyn Jenner takes more heat than even the man of the hour, but brings plenty herself!
Alec Baldwin knew most of the attendees who would be taking shots at him Saturday night at the taping of his upcoming "Comedy Central Roast," but he didn't expect that his daughter Ireland would join in the fun.
"It's not easy to be the daughter of an iconic movie star," said Ireland, according to USA Today. "But I'm not here to talk about my mom and her Oscar." Ireland is the daughter of Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
And the model proved she has a long memory, too, recalling that infamous cheeseburger-and-booze laden phone call she received from her father a dozen years ago where he called her a "thoughtless little pig."
Referencing his role in a famous film franchise, Deadline reports Ireland joked, "Mission Impossible is what I call getting my dad to apologize."
In response, Baldwin pointedly scratched his face with his middle finger, but he followed up that gesture with one much warmer and sweet, giving his daughter a big bear hug.
Roastmaster Jeff Ross recalled the incident while referencing Baldwin's recent stint as Donald Trump on "Saturday Night Live." Only Ross insists it's Trump who's doing a Baldwin impression, pointing out that the president "calls people names, married an immigrant half his age. The difference: Trump calls his daughter a fox; not a pig."
Ireland came from the audience to surprise her dad, but the dais was filled with plenty of famous faces, including Robert De Niro who cracked, "What the f--k am I doing here?"
Taking his own shot at Baldwin's sometimes-erratic behavior, De Niro quipped, "I once saw him take a selfie and punch his own face."
As is roast tradition, anyone who shows up is fair game for a good ribbing, with De Niro getting called "Aging Bull" and teased for his recent run of light comedy films after years of engrossing Oscar-caliber performances.
Jenner also took a great deal of heat on the night, with most of the jokes predictably centering around her being transgender. De Niro wished her vagina a happy second birthday and joking that Comedy Central waited until she had transitioned to hire her so they could pay her 20 percent less.
The former Olympian took all the ribbing in stride and came armed with plenty of barbs of her own, teasing De Niro that he used to be "Robert f--king De Niro" and telling other transgender people to be their true selves. "If you have a problem with that, you can suck my dick!" she joked. "If you can find it."
She poked fun at Baldwin's famously strained relationship with his equally famous brothers, quipping, "Back when I was Bruce, we were brothers. That's another brother you'll never talk to again."
"Will & Grace" star Hayes cracked a joke about Baldwin's own long-running NBC sitcom "30 Rock," easing the actor into the night by telling him, "I promise this will be the funniest thing you've been a part of that Tina Fey didn't carry you through."
Audiences will get to find out just how funny when "The Comedy Central Roast of Alec Baldwin" airs next Sunday at 10 p.m. ET.