Amber Portwood's daughter explains why she doesn't want to "fix" things with her mom, after not speaking for "months."
Amber Portwood made an emotional plea to her daughter Leah via a video message on Tuesday's new episode of "Teen Mom OG," a plea which seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
At the top of the hour, Amber said that while she was proud of herself for doing well in the two college classes she enrolled in, she was still struggling to connect with her daughter.
"It's been a while since Leah and I have spoken. I've been giving her space, but I think it's time to try something new," she said in a voiceover, before telling her producer that it had been "a couple months" since they last talked.
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"I feel like I'm never gonna win," she explained to him. "I wanted us to have a great co-parenting family that I thought we had until it became weird. And then all of a sudden, Leah started acting weird and turning on me."
She said that she wasn't going to give up -- and felt that it's not like Leah to "ignore" her like this. "Even if I take responsibility for every single wrongdoings I've ever done, it just feels like it's never enough," Portwood continued. "All I can say is sorry and try to move forward. I can't sit here and have her think things that aren't true about me, because I am her mother."
While Amber wrote a letter to Leah "explaining how much I want our real relationship back," she decided she wanted to record herself reading it before sending the video to ex Gary Shirley and his wife Kristina, for them to then share it with Leah herself.
"I'm scared that on her phone, I'm blocked. I don't even know. I would love to send it directly to Leah. They can both look at it," she added. "How many times do I need to apologize? They don't hear me. How many times do you need to apologize? I'm trying?"
After getting the video texted to him, Gary decided that they would ask Leah whether she wanted to watch it or not and if she wanted him and Kristina around if and when she did. Leah said it was fine for them all to watch it together.
"To my beautiful daughter, I'm so proud of the young lady you have become," Portwood began, sounding choked up from the first word. "I know I missed some very important times in your life, times that a mother should not miss, while I was still trying to understand my own life."
Portwood missed out on a lot of her daughter's life after going to rehab and spending five years in prison.
"I am so sorry for the things I did that kept us apart. I never ever wanted to hurt you," she continued. "I think about you every day and I will never stop trying to mend our relationship, no matter what it takes, I will always love you. You are my heart, no matter what."
After watching the video, Leah at first said she "didn't know" how to react.
"I'm sure we have good memories, but I couldn't tell if the crying, if that was fake, so I really don't know what to think of it," she continued. "I don't know if I can forgive her and especially not now. She was making videos and stuff, I didn't like it because Amber did say bad stuff about Kristina."
Portwood has gone onto her social media to call Gary's wife a "home wrecker" -- and, on the show, has labeled Kristina a "horrible person" while also blaming her for coming between her and her daughter.
"You can make bad decisions and still care about somebody. Your mom's made bad decisions, I've mad bad decisions, you can still love and care about somebody even though you've made bad decisions," Gary reassured his daughter, but she wasn't really hearing it.
"But I love Kristina," Leah replied. "That has nothing to do with loving your mom," he said, as Kristina added that there's "room for all of us" in her heart. When Gary said that he knew Amber loved her, Leah once again shut it down.
"But I love Kristina and she tried to hurt somebody I love," said the 12-year-old. "I can't love somebody who tries to hurt other people." She then said she didn't want the situation between them to be "fixed."
"She shouldn't be doing the videos, I get it, but don't let that ruin your chances with her if you want something with her," Gary said -- before the conversation ended with Leah saying, "I don't need that."