The reality star, who will appear pregnant in the upcoming season of her show, revealed last Friday that she suffered a stillbirth 38 weeks into her pregnancy.
One week after a tragic stillbirth at 38 weeks pregnant, "Selling Sunset" star Maya Vander and her husband are still awaiting answers. In the meantime, she and David Miller are preparing to say goodbye with a funeral service for their son, Mason, on Friday.
In a new interview with E! News, Vander opened up for the first time about her family's tragic loss, something she says her other two kids don't fully understand yet. She and David are parents to 2-year-old Aiden and 19-month-old Elle.
Making things even harder, Vander said that she suffered the loss of her child after her whole family, save her, had contracted Covid. And so she was alone. "I never got COVID, but because my husband was still testing positive, he wasn't allowed to be in the delivery room with me so I had to basically be by myself."
As for why she's opening up about this, in a way Vander feels that she doesn't really have a choice. "I share my pregnancy in the show. It was almost a joke that I'm always pregnant in the show," she explained. "Season 5, which will come out in a couple of months, we filmed when I was very much pregnant. So, I knew at some point, I have to obviously share because I can't hide the fact that I didn't have a baby."
The reality star opened up about the experience of discovering that her baby had died, necessitating a delivery at 38 weeks, and the decisions she found herself faced with. In a hope for some answers as to what happened, she said that they did send the body out for an autopsy, but the results can take 30 to 45 days to come back.
She also struggled in that moment with a decision of whether or not to look upon her child, who'd already passed away. "We didn't know what to do first. I'm like, I don't even want to see the baby and get attached but then I'm like, you know what? It is my baby," she shared. "It is my son."
As such, the couple decided to go ahead with a full funeral service for the baby. With everything prepared for Friday's service, Vander said that she and Miller went on Wednesday to the funeral home to see him one last time and say goodbye.
"I didn't have the chance to connect to him as much but it just kills me that he didn't get the love that I could've possibly given him, because I was ready," Vander said. "I was so ready for a third kid. And it's just not fair to him."
Right now, she's hoping for the start of closure with the funeral service, but she also believes that she won't be able to begin to get where she needs to be emotionally until they get the results of the autopsy back. "As of now everything is a big question mark," she noted.
When asked about what kind of support system she's found, Vander said that she's discovered tremendous support from both fans of the show and her fellow cast-members. Of the latter, she said, "They always check on me. They text me. They do what they can do to support."
"I think they were all shocked and very, very sad for me, and they've been just very supportive," she added. "Very, very sweet. All of them."
As for the fans, Vander said that many have shared their own similar stories, which she finds very helpful. Especially, she said she finds hope in the stories of women who've suffered a stillbirth and then gone on to have a healthy delivery later.
"That's something that I would really like to have: I really would like to have another baby and have a nice sweet experience at the end," she said.
Vander's latest Instagram post remains the one where she first announced the stillbirth, which you can see below:
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