"People also don't know when you're crying in a bathroom alone, trying to pull yourself together."
Casey Anthony is answering for her behavior during those 31 days her daughter Caylee was missing back in 2008 and explaining why she acted like nothing was wrong at the time.
Back in 2008, Caylee was reported missing by her grandparents, who hadn't seen her for a month. As her story kept changing, Casey was charged with first-degree murder of the child, before her remains were eventually found in the woods near Anthony's home in Florida.
In 2011, following a highly-publicized trial, Anthony was found not guilty of murder. Anthony was also acquitted on charges of aggravated child abuse and aggravated manslaughter of a child. She was, however, found guilty on two counts of lying to the police.
During the trial, the court was shown photos of Anthony out at bars during the month Caylee was missing, as the prosecution tried to highlight her questionable behavior before the girl's body was found. In the new docuseries "Casey Anthony: Where the Truth Lies," she shares her side of the story.
Anthony claims she went to bed with Caylee one night and woke up to her father George shaking her, asking where the girl went. She says they went outside and found her daughter "soaking wet ... heavy ... and cold." Casey said her father then left the house with Caylee's body, but kept reassuring her the girl was alive and okay.
Anthony said that, at the time, she had been dating Tony Lazzaro for a couple of months and, "the day my father took Caylee away," she wound up staying with Tony and his roommates for "about 3 weeks of the 31 days" before her daughter was reported missing. "I just tried to be as normal as I could around him and even around his roommates. That was part of the main instruction from my dad, was just to be as normal as possible," she said.
Of the pictures shown of her at a bar in the period Caylee was MIA, she claimed, "All of the photos that people see of me out in those 31 days, was not partying. You don't see drinks in my hand. I was there actually working. I was there helping Tony promote."
"During the 31 days, I genuinely believed Caylee was still alive. My father kept telling me she was okay. I just had to keep following his instructions. There were no threats, I just knew that I had to do what he wanted me to do ... just do what he wants," said Casey, who also claimed in the doc -- as well as during her trial -- that her father sexually abused her. George previously denied her abuse claims in court. She says that alleged history, however, was part of the reason she felt pressured to stay silent.
"People also don't know when you're crying in a bathroom alone, trying to pull yourself together. You can never see behind closed doors unless someone chooses to let you in," she added.
According to Casey, she spoke with her father "daily" and kept asking him when she would see her daughter and whether she was okay.
"He would tell me she was fine, just keep doing what I'm telling you do it. You guys will be reunited soon. Wouldn't tell me anything," she continued. "I would ask where she was and he would tell me she was safe. When you're physically afraid of another human being and you are conditioned to say and do what they want you to say and do, even as an adult, you're still going to revert right back to it."
She said that, at the time, she did believe her father had simply taken the child and that she wasn't dead -- something she believed even when she was in jail, before Caylee's body was found.
"Nothing about trauma and abuse is ever simple because you're just trying to survive. I was convinced she was okay, until December of 2008," she said, referring to when Caylee's skull was discovered. Breaking down in tears, she added, "I thought there was still a chance ... I should have known."
In the docuseries, one of Lazarro's roommates said Anthony acted totally normal during the time of Caylee's disappearance ... while another added, "She did absolutely nothing in the search for her child and that I will never forgive her for."
Another former friend of Casey's, Annie Downing Goderwis, also claimed that a number of the photos shown in the trial and in the press at the time were from "half a dozen different nights over the span of a 3-year time period."
"There's a picture of her with her head in the toilet, it was her 21st birthday. The media made it seem like all she wanted to do was kill her kid and go out and party. That's not the Casey that I knew," added Annie. "She wasn't the life of the party. She was your typical mom. She loved that child."
Annie believes there was an accident that led to Caylee's death and then Casey lied to cover it up -- adding, "When I was friends with Casey, she lied about everything."
"Casey Anthony: Where The Truth Lies" begin streaming November 29 on Peacock.