The night of DadYe's "TMZ Live" appearance was awkward and uncomfortable. At dinner, I told him I was hungry, and he told me that hunger was a choice.
Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
Sunday was the season finale of my show, "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." I'm sure at times it was hard for you guys to sit through, but I can honestly say it was even harder to live through. The cast and I thank you for watching.
The episode started with Mommy, Auntie Kourt and everyone's favorite "why are you here" girl, Larsa Pippen, pretending to work out for Instagram. Mommy said Auntie Kylie should have been there pretending to work out, too, because the Met Gala was only one week away and she hadn't worked out since having her baby. Auntie Kourt reminded Mommy that Kylie's 20, which means everyone would believe she lost the baby weight naturally.
Next, Mommy explained to Auntie Kourt that she was on a mission to get Alice Johnson out of prison. Mommy didn't think it was fair that Ms. Alice was sentenced to life for a first-time, non-violent offense, so she planned a meeting with the president to ask him to grant her clemency. Mommy had to define clemency for Auntie Kourtney.
Later, Auntie Khloe returned to work for the first time since having True. Keep in mind, I use the word "work" very lightly. Auntie Khloe was launching Good American active-wear and had to travel to multiple cities. It was the first time she was away from True, so to keep in touch, she FaceTimed True while she was away. That way she could see True and make sure Tristan wasn't at a hookah bar with Instagram models.
Later, Mommy's trip to the White House got canceled last minute. Mommy was getting a little frustrated with all the changes, but she did her best to remain positive.
Mommy learned during one of her "KUWTK" interviews that DadYe was doing "TMZ Live." He originally said he wasn't going to appear on TMZ but remembered he had an album to promote, so he needed the publicity stunt. To refresh your memory, DadYe went on TMZ and proclaimed that slavery was a choice. Second most embarrassing day of my life. The first was when Saint asked me what Balmain was in front of Olivier Roustein. The night of DadYe's TMZ appearance was awkward and uncomfortable. At dinner, I told him I was hungry, and he told me that hunger was a choice.
Kris decided to appear on "Ellen" after Kanye's controversial TMZ appearance. Mommy and DadYe wanted Kris to cancel her appearance because they felt she wasn't qualified to talk about DadYe. They asked me to go instead, but I said no because I'm overqualified, and who knows what I might say. Even though he embarrassed the family and exposed the fact that no one over here reads books, Kris wanted to be loyal to him and not be critical on Ellen.
Later on, Mommy arrived in New York for the Met Gala with Simon and Jonathan. If you remember, Mommy got them a show on E!, but nobody was interested in watching it. Simon and Jonathan asked about DadYe. Mommy began making excuses for his behavior and insisted he was not having a breakdown. Mommy said DadYe had good intentions and blamed the media for blowing everything out of proportion. Next time my school sends home a note saying I have behavioral issues, I'm blaming the media. It seems to work.
While in glam for the Met gala, Mommy got a call informing her that her meeting with the president was back on. Mommy would be getting a chance to advocate for Ms. Alice after all. Kris, Auntie Kylie and Auntie Kendall attended the Met Gala as well and got glammed up in their respective hotel rooms. Auntie Khloe and Auntie Kourtney never get invited to the Met Gala because they're the least interesting to look at.
Later, Mommy and DadYe went to Wyoming for DadYe's listening party for his album. I visited Wyoming a couple of times while he was working on the album. There's no Nobu. I hated it.
In Washington D.C., Mommy had her meeting at the White House with the president, and she thought it went really well. Later, at a photo shoot, she found out that the president agreed to grant Ms. Alice clemency. Mommy had the honor of telling Ms. Alice she was a free woman.
Later, Mommy and I flew to Tennessee to meet Ms. Alice and her family at her home. I ended up having some last minute conference calls, so I had to stay back and was unable to go to Ms. Alice's house, but I did send my best regards.
The entire cast of the show had a tremendous year. Everyone has grown and wants to keep growing. I'm trying to grow, too. My New Year's resolution is to try and stop referring to everyone as "the cast" and start saying "my family." Emphasis on try.
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at firstname.lastname@example.org.