Part 1 of the “Vanderpump Rules” reunion special aired Monday, and host Andy Cohen forced the growing cast to address the rumors and havoc that surrounded Season 5.
From the functionality of a cast member's penis to another male star admitting he dated a certain somebody to become a cast member on the Bravo series, here are the 5 most jaw-dropping moments of the night:
1. Tom Schwartz's d--k works just fine.
Andy asked Katie Maloney-Schwartz what prompted her “your d--k doesn't work” outburst when she and Schwartz were at the Porsche dealership this season. Katie said it was his dismissal of her feelings, chalking them up to “Tequila Katie.”
“What does that do to a man's self-esteem to be told that his d--k doesn't work?” Andy asked Schwartz.
“That was out of left field, man. I did not see that coming,” Schwartz said. “She just caught me off guard and I laughed at it because it's not true. My penis works. Jax, tell 'em.”
2. Lisa Vandeprump praised Jax Taylor, Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix for showing up to work during the Gay Pride Parade.
“I didn't blame any of them for going home,” Lisa said tearfully as she recalled the June 12 Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando that happened the morning Pride was set to take place in West Hollywood.
Katie was one of the servers who didn't show up, admitting fear kept her from going to work that day. Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute chimed in, saying they felt that it wasn't a time to celebrate, but Ariana defended her decision saying, “It wasn't about us having fun, it was about everyone at Pride having fun.”
Lisa added: “That day was an unbelievable success because so many people came out that maybe wouldn't have come out in support of the LGBT community, and I'm glad I made that decision because f—-k terrorism.”
3. Katie and Lala mended their fat, slutty wounds.
Katie (who was kind of rocking Kim Kardashian's 2016 black VMA mini dress) and former “Vanderpump Rules” cast member Lala Kent finally came to an understanding after quite the fiery exchange of insults this past season, including Katie calling Lala a whore and Lala saying Katie looked pregnant.
“Why is it OK for you to [trash me on social media] and then not expect a retaliation from somebody?” Lala said.
Schwartz offered up a simple explanation: “We've earned the right to be assholes to each other. You didn't earn that right.”
4. Andy raided the SUR kitchen to grill the chefs about the staff. Here's what he came back with:
Hottest SURver: Katie.Thoughts on Lala: She's a very attractive woman.Thoughts on Kristen: She's a little crazy and the restaurant has gotten better since she left.True or False? Kristen and Brittany sexcapade: Perhaps. Who knows, I think yes.Thoughts on Brittany and Jax as a couple: Jax is no good for her. He has a lot of women.Thoughts on Brittany: I love her. She has big boobs.