Before we get to the war that Kristen launched against Stassi and Katie, we have to fill you in on the bombshell revelation that left our mouths on the floor.
Apparently, Kristen's the one who set Beau Clark up with Stassi. Kristen met him almost a decade ago when the two filmed an independent film together called "Loneliness of the Long-Distance Dreamer." In it, they made out -- footage Andy Cohen made sure to play for the cast.
"Ohhh, my God," James let out, as Jax Taylor exclaimed, "We are the most incestuous group ever!"
"Did it go any further?" Andy asked Kristen, who quickly said no.
After Beau left, the conversation took quite the turn. Andy brought up the girls' trip to Solvang, where Kristen got embarrassingly and emotionally hammered. At the time, she claimed it had to do with hearing that James was DJing at Pump that night, but Stassi vocalized to the rest of the crew she felt Kristen's real issue was her relationship with her live-in boyfriend, Brian Carter. Stassi let all kinds of secrets slip that night, including the fact that Carter apparently doesn't pay for anything, sits on the couch all day and treats Kristen like you-know-what. Katie and the other girls eventually felt comfortable enough with the conversation to share what Kristen had confided in them, too, and it became quite clear she was miserable.
After telling Andy and her co-stars during part 1 of the reunion that she and Carter had broken up, Kristen revealed Monday that he still lives with her and they occasionally have sex but that they don't sleep in the same bed.
"I truly in that moment was pissed off about James, and it wasn't about me and Carter, so the fact that they were getting intermixed -- that's when I got upset," Kristen explained to Andy, as Stassi and Kristen rolled their eyes.
Kristen also said she didn't appreciate Stassi and Katie urging her to break up with him because she "saw a shift" in his behavior, which Stassi attributed to the fact that he had been "called out."
"The bottom line is we are not together," Kristen insisted. When Stassi asked why Carter was still living with Kristen, she said it was because their dog had recently gotten "mauled by a pit bull" and that she "needed him physically, mentally and emotionally."
"I'm sorry it doesn't work for everyone in this f--king place, but it's working for me," she said tearfully before looking Stassi dead in the face and saying, "Your tough love doesn't f--king work for me. That's why I go to Brittany only. She's the only one that I talk to. Or Lala slightly. I went to Ariana recently because I don't know what to do anymore!"
"But that's not fair!" Stassi shouted back. "You're going to new people every time..."
"Because your love doesn't f--king work for me!" Kristen interrupted. "I sit at home alone, and I f--king cry because I'm scared to f--king call you because you guys are annoyed by me! But you f--king came to me about Patrick for years, and [Katie] came to me about [Tom] for years!"
"Yeah, but we figured our shit out!" Katie barked back. "You are just settling! You're settling right now to be unhappy, to try to figure out how to make yourself happy in this situation that is not good for you!"
Kristen loudly reiterated that Katie's "type of love" doesn't work for her, and a screaming match among the three quickly ensued. Kristen kept saying she's "never walked away" from Stassi and Katie when they were having boyfriend problems, which Stassi countered by saying they hadn't gone anywhere. Katie was adamant that Kristen wasn't happy, but Kristen wanted nothing to do with Katie's opinion.
"I'm doing it on my f--king own without either of you!" she shouted, but Katie reminded her she's not doing anything because Carter still lives with her.
"It's none of your business!" Kristen yelled.
"Kristen, you've made it my business for over two years, so forgive me for having a f--king opinion," Katie said.
"I forgive you," Kristen replied. (It's hard to tell how she meant this.)
At the end of the hour, Jax Taylor got choked up when Andy grilled him about his awkward lunch with Brittany Cartwright's family. He apologized for the way he spoke to them, saying he was extremely nervous and that he doesn't have much family of his own. "I don't have a mom and dad," he said.
Both Andy and Lisa Vanderpump reminded him that while his dad was no longer with us, he did still have a mom. Jax hasn't spoken to his mom since the passing of his father because she didn't tell Jax or his sister how sick he really was; therefore, they didn't get to say goodbye. Jax sobbed as he rhetorically asked his mom why she'd keep that from her kids and told Andy he wasn't sure if she'd be invited to the wedding.